When I was 3 years old, I was hit by a car and spent 5 days in a coma. As a result, I began to believe the world was an unsafe place. At age 11 my mother and father were separated and getting a divorce. One night, she was killed while riding in a car driven by the man she was dating. They had been drinking together. He was driving drunk and wrapped the car around a telephone pole. My mother was dead on arrival to the hospital. I was sleeping in my dad’s trailer when he came in to tell me that she was dead. I started crying and crying and crying and began to feel that there was no meaning to life and absolutely nothing to live for. I felt totally helpless. Deep down I believed that we must do what we can to survive, and then we die. That’s it. End of story. There is nothing else!
As a teenager and young adult I had almost no self esteem and had very little confidence with intimate relationships. I didn’t have a clue about what a good relationship would look like, much less how to attract a like minded woman into my life. After 2 failed relationships, I knew that there were communication skills that I did not have.
It was at that low point in my life that I vowed to get unstuck and learn how to resolve my internal conflicts. I put myself on the path of deeper healing. I attended workshops, received specialized training, and learned how to communicate my deeper feelings. I took my career and spiritual and emotional training to a whole new level with a focus on authentic communication. I courageously took a good hard look at my fears and how I was beating up on myself. I realized that by not loving myself I was unconsciously pushing away the loving relationship that I actually wanted. I was counseled on how to establish a good relationship. And those words still ring in my ears. I was told to become interested in the person I found attractive. That meant that I needed to genuinely care about her and her life. That was a game changer for me. I was also told that I am a natural born therapist. These were unexpected turns of events for my life path.
After a lot of trial and error and an undying commitment to create a long lasting fulfilling relationship, I began to create emotional safety with myself and with other people. I also wrote down a vivid, heart-felt description of my ideal partner, Jeanette, who I later met, married and have been with since 1993. All along the way something was happening to me. As I worked with more and more clients, my ability to hear began to expand and deepen. It began to dawn on me that I could hear in a whole new way. By working on myself, and without consciously realizing it, I was developing the unique intuitive ability to hear in a person’s voice what deeper feelings are blocking that person’s relationship success. And, even more important, I learned how to guide that person into the resolution that guarantees her or his empowerment. I became much more effective at helping people to get to the root causes and change their deeply held limiting beliefs.
My clients and I are results oriented
For over 35 years I have been and will continue to be fully committed to Transformational coaching for spiritually minded singles and couples who desire authentic loving committed relationships as a path to higher consciousness and self awareness.
I am especially interested in working with like minded people who are eager to learn how to develop their own emotional intelligence while creating healthy boundaries. They eagerly enjoy personal growth and expanding awareness while accepting and working through the life challenges that come up all along the way. They appreciate the opportunity to practice what they are learning about genuine communication in the real world with real people. They are open to having fun while discovering new ways of living that are wholesome, creatively alive and are outside the box of superficial living. If you aspire to be one of these people, hooray we have found each other.
I am committed to learning new effective tools and techniques. I continually search out knowledge that will make a difference to me, my clients and to the planet. I am innovative and creative. I use my gifted intuitive talents to create useful support and practices that will make a difference to all who use them. I enjoy being challenged. I am here to learn and grow by continually seeking out opportunities that require me to perform at my best. I will overcome difficulties and master skills that will serve me for a lifetime. I love connecting with people and clients. I am satisfied and fulfilled by the challenge of turning the seemingly negative into a positive workable solution which is both inspirational and practical.
I have the unique ability to hear in your voice what is keeping you stuck and show you how to turn that around both quickly and lovingly. The deeper truth shall set you free. This will expedite and powerfully enhance your learning experience. I also have some excellent processes that I take you through which will improve those intimate conversations that you have with yourself. Instead of being on auto pilot you will learn to consciously choose how you want to communicate with yourself and with your like minded partner.
We will teach you how to talk with yourself so you will have a felt sense of what it is like to have a good internal dialogue. You will learn to look for positive solutions and to feel good about your creative results. You will learn to get unstuck and become self encouraging. Your inner critic will be transformed into your very best friend, advocate and honorable ally. This will help you in your communications with a potential like minded partner as well. How your treat yourself is also how you will treat your ideal partner and how you will encourage that person to treat you in return. You will also be given useful exercises for problem solving and conflict resolution in kind, specifically relevant and respectfully constructive ways. Arguments, misunderstandings and hurt feelings will then become valuable learning experiences. Your new life will now begin to open up for you.
Are you ready to take the next step? Let’s have a conversation at no charge to you. Book now for a free telephone consultation so we can see if we have a fit.
Who I Work With
Does this describe you?
Are you a conscious, heartfelt playful spirit? Are you a truth-seeker and freedom lover who recognizes the value of commitment? Are you a people person? Do you know you could live by yourself but would rather not? You’ve struggled with relationships, have experienced a lot of pain and suffering and have felt alone. Without respectful boundaries and good communication skills, have you felt helpless, angry and disillusioned? Do you tend to beat up on yourself or the other person and are tired of thinking about all of those hurts and disappointments? Are you frustrated, and still you don’t want to be alone? Do you just want to give and receive love, but are afraid you’re going to repeat the same mistakes you made in the past? Would you gladly be open to being coached if you felt you would be responsibly guided through this treacherous and vulnerable new territory?
Do you:
Need and want help in getting unstuck?
Need and want help in writing the owner’s manual for your ideal relationship?
Need and want help in recognizing what a satisfying and fulfilling relationship looks like?
Need and want help in creating and strengthening a successful intimate relationship that is more than worth the effort?
Need and want help in finding a compatible relationship where you share common values and common goals?
Need and want help in dealing with the inner critic so you can feel genuinely good about yourself?
Need and want help in creating a loving trustworthy long lasting relationship that just keeps getting better and better?
Need and want help in being vulnerable and genuine with healthy boundaries?
Need and want help in becoming Less self critical and more self valuing. Help in Improving one’s joy for living?
Need and want help in Hearing and being heard? Respecting and being respected?
Need and want help in discovering your life purpose and actively engaging with your own reason for being here?
Are you willing to be or learn how to be:
- A Coachable Risk-Taker. You are ready and willing to work with a coach, in a mutual partnership. Your are open to being coached, counseled, held accountable and courageously accept the challenges that come up all along the way.
- Responsible. You take full responsibility for your life so you are empowered to create positive change and to move forward with your life.
- Self-Motivated. You are passionately dedicated to improving your life and you desire fulfilling relationships with others.
- Honest and Communicative. You are willing to look at what needs to be improved and talk openly and honestly about it so that you can work together with Val in finding the best possible solutions.
- Action-oriented and Interactive. Through ongoing interaction, you are willing to practice and implement new strategies and approaches for living your authentic life.
- Playful and Good Natured. You are willing to have fun with the journey and are not just focused on the end result. You can also laugh at yourself in a lighthearted and approachable way.
- Self-Acknowledging and Self-Affirming. You are willing to learn how to acknowledge your real progress as you grow and learn.
- Persevering. You are aware that Rome was not built in a day and that old habits and perceptions do not change overnight. Therefore, you are willing to work patiently with positive change one step at a time.
- Introspective. You are willing to explore your fears and anxieties and examine your thoughts, feelings, beliefs & perceptions.
- Grateful. Your are grateful for the ever-changing opportunities that determine your character, integrity and your purpose for being here on this earth.
- Committed. You are committed to your own personal growth and are willing to invest the necessary time, effort and money in completing the required homework assignments and exercises in advance. Because you know how important it is to follow through with what you say you are going to do, you see this accountable coaching experience with Val as a valuable opportunity for change and transformation.
I don’t work with just anyone. I can only be successful with clients who are willing to be responsible for working toward their own selected goals as well. I will do whatever it takes to deliver my quality professional services to my clients. The special services and experience that I bring to the table are, without exception –a labor of skillful love and mutual respect. Striving for excellence and continuous improvement are a part of my purpose for being here. I adhere to my own highest standards of honesty and integrity. If you want to succeed by taking shortcuts, I’m not for you. If you want your relationships to be of the highest quality and for the best good of all concerned, then I am committed to doing my part in making that happen.
How I Work:
Do you like what you have read and have more questions? If so, then let me tell you how I work.
What do I do?
I teach and train spiritually aware, professional women and men how to get unstuck, purposefully find, attract and keep their compatible like minded partners (Soul Mates) for life so that they will never be without genuine love and meaningful companionship ever again.
These people are uncertain about how to find, meet, connect with and attract a compatible ideal partner. They don’t want to be alone and at the same time are afraid of being hurt. They don’t know how to resolve conflicts in a mutually respectful way. Are you one of these people?
How do I do that?
I help people learn to speak up for themselves and resolve conflicts in a mutually respectful way. Tell me a little about yourself. What is your biggest issue in communicating with a potential like-minded partner?
We can never get things resolved without getting hurt or angry. We are always arguing or avoiding each other. Then we start growing apart and eventually break up. Do you help people with that problem?
Yes. I show people how to hear and be heard. This is a learnable skill and people experience relief when they practice and apply these new skills.
Based on my experience I can guarantee that by working with me and practicing a new way to communicate through assigned strategies and interactive exercises you will improve your genuine emotionally intelligent communication skills, learn to resolve conflicts, become attractive to a like minded person and will never be alone again.